Early memories...

I'm not sure when it all started...but I was very young. You know when you get those distant memories of childhood, but you can't quite pinpoint exactly when it was....Well that's when it started. I guess I must have been about 5 or 6, give or take a few years. I shared a wardrobe with my younger sister [ in much the same way as I share a wardrobe with my girlfriend today !!! ]...and I can remember wanting to try on her clothes. I don't know why I wanted to do this [ it certainly wasn't anything sexual...not at 5 or 6 ]...but I knew that it must be done in private. Whether my parents suspected anything at this time I never knew...If they did, the subject was never mentioned.

School memories...

The cross-dressing had continued in secret [ I'm guessing it was secret anyway??? ] throughout my childhood. I was now old enough to stay at home when my parents were out...and I grabbed every opportunity I could. This meant more than a few narrow escapes, as I had to perform Superman/girl quick changes, after hearing my parent's car pulling up onto the drive!!!....This was about the time when I started to seriously think about what I was doing...and the conclusion I came to was...that there must be something seriously wrong with me.

Drunken memories...

And the cross-dressing continued...I had now left school & I found myself working in a metal-work factory [ I fitted in a treat...as you can imagine !!! ]. I still didn't know why I was cross-dressing...I knew I wasn't gay because I fancied girls too much...I had thought that maybe I should have been a girl all along, but the truth was, that I liked being like a girl...and only sometimes. The problem was...the cross-dressing was now becoming more frequent. The other problem was...I was no longer content to dress up in private at home...I wanted to go out...I wanted people to see me...HOW MAD WAS THAT...The thought of being seen as a girl was such a thrill...it was also terrifying !!!...But I knew I had to do it.....so I did. It started with a very quick walk around the block at night, in the rain, hiding under a brolly....and eventually moved on to walks out during the day.

...and yes it was thrilling...and yes it was terrifying.

Lonely memories...

OK...serious fucked-up head time now...I had left home & now lived on my own. I still couldn't get a relationship to last more than the odd date...and I still wanted to cross-dress but now had no clothes, and there was no way I was brave enough to buy any....So, the cross-dressing stopped for quite a long time...and I was not too happy...I was full of angst & frustration, and it would all come out into bizarre paintings & garbled poetry. I did houseshare for a small time, so did manage to find some clothes...but it didn't last for long, and soon things were back to how they were before.

...these were indeed the dark years.

Happy memories...

Amazingly...in the depths of my dark times, I found a steady girlfriend, Tracy [ or rather, she found me, 'cus I'm a bit shit with things like that ! ]...It was like finding my soulmate, we had so much in common...so I move in. Things were going so well...but then [ you just knew there had to be a but ]...the urges to cross-dress started again...Now this was awful...because I so wanted to cross-dress, but I definitely didn't want to wreck my relationship.....so I just bottled everything up & hoped things would get better...but because I'd withdrawn so far into my little shell, our relationship suffered...which really tore us apart, as we loved each other so much...it was hard for both of us, but especially for Tracy, who just couldn't understand what the problem was.

...Now at this point the story could have one of two endings...Our relationship deteriorated so much, that we just couldn't carry on with each other...and I went back to my lonely little world.........OR...........whilst looking through a drawer of old photos, my girlfriend found a pack of pictures of me cross-dressed....and after being confused, shocked & more than a little excited about her find, she confronted me, and I told her everything.

Luckily...my story has the second ending...and our relationship has never been better....

...This is where I think most Transvestite stories will differ....Some of us will still be cross-dressing in secret...Some will be desperately trying to pluck up the courage to tell people...Some will not have an understanding partner...Some will be out happily socialising as girls...

...But one thing will be the same...People who want to, will always cross-dress.

...and anyway...what's so wrong with wanting to wear a skirt...the Romans wore skirts for years & it didn't seem to do them much harm !!!